So, How to be Single is a comedy that was released on Valentine's Day. It stars Dakota Johnson as Alice, a wedded girl to a man she met in college named Josh, who she's taking some time off because she wants to try and discover herself. Rebel Wilson as Robin, Alice's welcomer into her paralegal business, a girl who knows a lot about making out but I don't think she's ever kissed a boy and kissed him again a day later. Alison Brie as Kate, a girl who's living in an apartment across from a bar that has free Wi-fi. And Leslie Mann as Meg, Alice's sister. Alice's twenty-years-or-something-and-different-haircolour big sister, who decides despite all the trauma she claims to know about raising a family, she wants a baby, and earns her pregnancy from some Swedish sperm donor. One day, Alice realizes that leaving Josh for a while was a mistake, and Robin tries to help her find a guy, and now we have our four-perspective film.
The movie, hence the title, had me guessing it was going to be a movie which, like 21 & Over, which I gave an A+ to, embraces and has fun with something that other people would find flawed. In that movie, it was growing up and being drunk, which that movie did exemplarily and stunningly. For this movie, I thought it would be being single and being drunk. I found it to be more of a stuffy sitcom of suffragettes. The movie Suffragette received generally positive reviews from critics and was about a band of women trying to earn the right to vote and I gave it a D+ for the way it was non-stop tries-to-be-aimless-but-wasn't-aimless-at-all violence, torture and overhanging conclusion. How to be Single has the exact same problems, only this movie hypnotized me into thinking it wouldn't be.
Honestly, I think Dakota Johnson should just fire her agent. She's a beautiful and engaging presence. She's also the best thing in her movies, even when she's streaking or whispering film dialogue. What saves the movie from getting my rare shotgun F is a few amusing moments, especially when Meg decides she'll have a baby and, well, the girls are good. Kate has a nice nut scene where she discusses all the people in the world that mildly cracked me up. Rebel Wilson really rocks as an actress, even if she plays the same thing in every role. If it aint broke. She cracks up some good lines once in a while and perfects a Welcome-to-the-Jungle sequence, and trashes Alice's apartment and the crowd quite well. She was the most enjoyable part in this movie, mostly because she's the only one following the movie's title.
The movie was dragging along between events that were predictable and shallow, one dismal scene of cruelty after another and I was thinking to myself, "I thought I was starting to like chickflicks." Confessions of a Shopaholic, Brooklyn, Freaky Friday, they were all amazing. This movie stinks like backwashed beer, where all the rest of the beer was already drank. It tries to teach a lesson about the importance of having someone you love but that message squanders the potential for its original idea and the way the characters acted, I didn't understand why the turnabouts would ever really happen; these girls are great people (sauf Kate), they're doing everything fine. And okay, maybe it's not the most original, hence The Other Woman, but the reason I loved that movie was that in between the slapstick scenes this movie desperately tries to copy off of, there is some true friendship showing and it brought to mind to me if I would ever be willing to forgive someone for cheating on me. Oh, and the slapstick done to one man was terrific. How to be Single isolates its characters you see onscreen from each other too often, and what Alice usually does is mourn for boys that left her selfishly while Meg copies off of Will from Good Will Hunting and Kate skips through life not learning something, and the excuse this movie makes is a curveball joke. What also made this such a disappointment is a refusal to touch upon a subject that could've thrown me off guard and probably generated some gasps and laughs from the audience, and when the lesson is "learned", it felt like the writers were acknowledging the whole film itself was a mistake. But that was the same vibe I had from Suffragette and a lot of people didn't see it that way, so, like every other movie I trash, if you still think this movie could be good or you think you'll disagree with me on some points from what I said during my plot synopsis, then you should go see it and figure out if you were right. Hopefully the actresses will disagree with their agents too.